Confidently Lost

Last year in September I decided to go on vacation to the Dominican Republic. I like to take at least a month to fully experience rest and reset. I have noticed that in the first week after arriving you usually need to detox your old patterns. I remembered still feeling like I was in workmode. So I think mentally the vacation really starts in the second week because you allow your body to let go. This feeling of tranquility continues throughout your vacation where you eventually experience full rest.

I remembered talking to people who have decided to leave their busy lives in New York to experience the quality of life. They told me that even though there was more ‘wealth’ back home, the quality of life was here. I enjoyed talking to locals, tasting their cuisine, dancing bachata & salsa, cruised around in the Moto Konjo and kayaked into the deep blue sea. I absolutely loved the complete calmness and beauty of the surroundings. When I travel I also tend to have a very clear mind. I can look at myself from a distance and check which part of me I miss and which part of me I need to let go of. It's a pleasant state of mind and being. The dreaming state.

But then I came back.... and oh boy I had to get used to the pace. I had several events planned. I came late to almost every meeting. Everything was going so fast. It was rough. I also directly noticed that everything I was doing before the break was way too much and that I wasn't getting the right energy from these projects. Including my own Orisun launch event.

Don’t get me wrong, I was looking forward to it but it got postponed twice because of covid and after the launch I was exhausted. This was not a good sign at all. Especially for something I deeply cared about. I decided to stop all my productions for two months, December and January. Side note: this is the part where a lot of people tend to continue working and stress their bodies. I listen to my body religiously because I put my wellbeing before work. I decided to do that back when I finished law school and have since then been on a growing health journey.

I took courses, limited my projects and started gathering information by listening to podcasts, attending workshops and reading books. They all taught me in different ways how to work with my body and wellbeing. As a result I figured out why I felt so tired, and now I also knew how to go about it. I just needed to implement this new healthier structure in my life.

However, what I wasn’t prepared for was that when you implement a new structure you go through a transition phase of change. In my case I experienced a lot of restlessness. As an entrepreneur there will be moments where you feel fear, doubt and worry. Even though I have completely created my own dream job, these moments are inevitable and will make you feel “confidently lost”. You are constantly taking risks and some results are not coming as fast as you hoped so you start doubting yourself. Let’s not forget that we still need to pay bills…yeah, I don’t blame anyone who has a secure 9-5 job somewhere. Especially when this is your path, but I knew in my heart that I would be unhappy if I stopped pursuing this career choice. I just needed to figure out how to get back on track.

How to overcome fear, doubt and worry

The feeling of restlessness is a sign from your body that something needs to change. In my case it was the fact that I made myself a promise in DR to travel more so I would feel inspired throughout the year. But I wasn't doing that. Instead I was worrying about paying bills. And when you worry there is no room for inspiration. The goal is to fall back into your dreaming state.

Discontent can be a very good fuel when you use it to your advantage. Evaluate what is bugging you. Listen to your body. What is really bothering you? Write it down. Then list potential solutions beside every single one of those points. And now it's time to get to work! Make a plan and have a clear goal then implement and stick to it even when it gets tough. Make sure to take your time to really figure out what exactly is bugging you. There is a lot of valuable info there even though it feels uneasy. The better you understand your discontent, the better you understand what needs to change.

Are you feeling tired?

When you are tired I think the first thing you should do is be honest with yourself, to your loved ones and your team. Let them know because otherwise they will find out through mood swings and that is not fair to yourself or them. When I told my team that I was exhausted everyone was very understanding and very helpful. And within a short period we cleared our schedules and started working differently. They can also help you refocus on the project that deserves the most attention. A colleague also suggested focussing on energy management instead of time management.

Management of energy might look like this:

• You should ask yourself if your income is in balance with your input?
• Do I need to change my environment? Sometimes it's the area (city).
• Do you need to change your role within the team? Getting a new position or other responsibilities can be a good energy gainer. For example by getting more in the backseat or maybe even at the forefront. You don’t always have to be the one producing, you could also consult. Decide for yourself where your heart goes out to and delegate the rest.
• master the art of saying no. Someone once told me the biggest energy drainer and place where you lose your value is your mailbox. If you don’t know who you are, what you want, people will persuade you to do things that might not be for you.

Eye on the prize

Lastly, If you know your direction you will not get lost on your way to your destination. Everything that helps you get there should be your main focus. All the other things are a distraction. But this does not mean that you have a perfect road towards your goal. In creating a new structure do not underestimate it takes time to create, cultivate, nurture + guard your new plan until harvest time. It should be solid otherwise you will fall back into the old structure which is familiar to you already.

I wrote this piece to let people know that even when you know what you want to do in life. You can still get lost because of many distractions and poor energy management. Reminding yourself of your goal and constantly evaluating how you get there is important.

How to fall in love with your company again

• In every relationship with a person or thing. There needs to be balance. When you are growing, the person or thing you have a relationship with should also grow because otherwise there is a disbalance and you will notice …. In my case I was the one growing. I moved out of my student room and got my own apartment. I was working on myself etc. but somehow I felt like something was still missing. I started to analyze my relations with everything around me.

Close relations, work, even my living space everything. And discussed this with my coach.